bonafiscaliadad (bonafiscaliadad) wrote in lost_loved_ones,

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support groups

Is it masochistic to go to a support group? The last tear-time, grief-group meeting ended like many others: I was exhausted, I had cried - well, more shed some tears. I had heard sad stories and was glad our daughter did not have to suffer. I think it is right to go there and that it helps me, no matter how hard that sometimes is !
Then again, I get through the weeks okay. I have work during the day and a routine at home ( I really don't like when that routine is upset ). The weeks go by quickly .... and then, twice a months we have the group meeting and I am actively reminded of everything that is really wrong in my life: the only child is DEAD. It's sort of like poking into an open wound in the hope that the repetition, which may not ease the pain, will enable me live with the pain more easily.
I get it, I can't get the daughter back, but that hurts soooo bad sometimes and who am I to complain after ONLY 10 months, when I'm told it may take years to get over it.
I don't want to love the pain that memories bring ...... but at least twice a month I indulge.
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