hereitisnow (hereitisnow) wrote in lost_loved_ones,
hereitisnow
hereitisnow
lost_loved_ones

A very close friend

My name is Jen and I'm new to this, I have lost quite a few people but the one I was most affected by was a really close friend of mine...
It's been almost three years since the accident and it still feels like he just left my house last night. His name was Andrew and he was amazing, I was only fifteen when I met him and we were both in our high school drama club. He was eighteen and a senior. He was that guy that I had a crush on so bad, but knew I would never have. But then things changed. His girlfriend was pregnant, but they had a lot of issues and he was excited about his baby coming but not very interested in her anymore. So anyways I would take ways to my class that I knew I would walk by him and hope to catch his eye for even a second. Then one day I went with him to get some food during a rehearsal and I think he could tell I was interested. And I think I could tell he was interested too.
We became pretty good friends. I was in charge of following lines and he was the lead role so we had plenty of time to just stare at each other without it really being noticed by others.

It hurts to recall these moments.
It hurts to think that I can have so much given to me, so much I longed for, then have it ripped away.
I think of him at least once a day still, his baby, which he never got a chance to meet, is a beautiful boy.

It is hard for me to talk to people about what me and Andrew had, because technically he had his girlfriend. It was a very complicated situation.

It feels good to know that there is a place I can go to write about this where other people understand the pain of loss and that it doesn't go away
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