luckyforlife00 (luckyforlife00) wrote in lost_loved_ones,
luckyforlife00
luckyforlife00
lost_loved_ones

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9 days too long

 i am a 20 year old college junior. i study an hour and a half away from home. exactly 9 days ago, i received the news that my best friend of 8 years died. he was driving at 4 am in the morning, no one knows why, and hit two trees. he was killed instantly.

for years now, i have had two best friends. one named ryan. one name dustin. dustin was the one who was killed. and i now do not know what to do with myself.

i cant eat. dont want to get out of bed. and am completely miserable. after missing my first week of classes, i am back at school, completely oblivious to the world around me.

i am just so lost. and the worst part is that i didnt speak to this kid for over a month prior to this accident. we got in a fight in late july. we always make it, it had happened before, but to know that for the last month of his life we didnt speak - it kills me.

i wish i had seen him just one last time. i wish i had heard his voice one last time. i do not understand. its not fair for him to be gone. he was a good kid. and now everything is fucked up. i just want him to be back. i keep thinking my phone will ring and his name will be displayed on the screen. 

....i really wish that would happen.
i miss him so much.
ive never felt this way before.
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